Stay home...

What if today was your last day? Would you run to the train station and take the next train to wherever..? Or would you simply stay home? Would you get ready? Or just relax and breathe........ I.... I would get undressed because I have always hated clothes, I'd roll around in the mud because I don't mind being a complete mess, I would run as fast as I possibly could to my house to write 8 letters...... I would thank the doctors for doing the best they could ... I would kiss him .... Ha I would sing every second my heart would go on, I would listen to my favorite songs.... I would stop playing dress up for once and realize that this whole time... My whole life I've been playing pretend.... And after my ridiculousness was over.... I would wash up..... Curl my hair..... Do my make up the best I can... And get in a pretty white dress all so that when my family found me it would be easier for them...... Because even though a life can be taken easily..... It  isn't easy for anyone to accept the end... If only we all knew when it was our last day....

Fears

When my arms are cold, when my mind is playing tricks on me, what if my decision was wrong?, when my sister goes to school every day she says she will see me when she gets home, what if she doesn't? when my heart beats is it strong or is it just a time bomb about to explode from an unknown fatal disease? Do you love me? Questions, answers, reason, belief, depression, irrational thoughts, first impressions, last impressions, beginners luck, life........ These are my fears... But I'm afraid that the list doesn't end there....