Dig a little deaper

The world is OBVIOUSLY spinning too fast because
I
am always dizzy.
I
keep crashing because my eyes are fixed on the rearview mirror.
I
know what love is. crazy i know. but i am absolutely sure of it.
I
am affraid of pain (not physical but mental/emotional) and heart break because as much as people say you get used to it.. with me i guess its different because the pain just gets worse..
I
care more each time.
 I
love harder every day.
I
might end up an emotional wreck but i want to express myself through writing
so here is my heart... it might still be beating.

Lets color outside of the lines

crayons>>

I wish that i could go back to being a child and knowing that i was right about everything even if i wasn't. I knew right from wrong a lot better then. I could say anything on my mind without giving it a second thought. I miss my vulnerability. I miss laughing so hard about silly things. I miss the innocence and how then i was actually hilarious. I miss how my imagination used to be my beliefs. I want my crayons back...

We? no.. Me.

We all fall at some point. We all know what its like to reach a high point. We all strive for something. We all have a dream in our hearts that may never die. We all sleep, eat, cry, laugh, and a number of other things.. But get out of my head because this is My blog. I am Comtesse Nicole de Loncrette. I have never been good at keeping my mouth shut, but i have also never had the opportunity to open it. I used to think my face was a clear giveaway of my emotions and it would be if anyone could see me. I don't aim to be contrary, that is just how it happens. My life has never been easy but id like to think it began with "once upon a time". That i could someday live happily ever after. Who lives happily ever after? The girl in the mirror that no matter how small she feels she could never be small enough? The boy in a small room with too many people, and questions that are unanswered hiding behind a door because he "fits" there? That girl who knows that she will live beyond this life and worries about her soul and where her heart is? The boy who always opens doors and smiles with such sincerity you might accidentally fall in love with him on a first impression? Or is it that girl who lost a father and knows nothing of her mother other than the stories and a name.. that name being Comtesse Nicole de Loncrette.. Happily ever after is a fantasy. Its nice to think of living your life behind a name. But that is a fantasy. This is reality. I live on a roller coaster that could end at any moment, it speeds up until it reaches a peak and then I'm flipped upside down and fall at an even faster speed. I wont promise that i will enjoy the ride, but i will make sure the view is great.